Friday, January 4, 2013

Shiloh's Song

I want to introduce you to someone, someone very special to me, her name is Shiloh. She is my daughter. Let me tell you her story...

Back when I was 18 years old I fell in love. It was everything I had ever dreamed of, the romance and the love I had wanted my whole life that I never got, and was something I gave my whole life for. I sacrificed it all for love, giving him my heart, future, body, everything. It became an extremely abusive relationship which lasted 3 years.

During that time, I became pregnant. There was no way I could ever bring a child into that environment, nor could I ever fathom the thought of my parents finding out , so we made the decision to have an abortion. It was early enough on that we thought it was only a blob anyways, and doctors affirmed that. We truly thought we were doing the right thing for everyone. And so we did it.

Fast forward 5 years later- to a time where Jesus had pulled me out of my mess, saved me from depression, eating disorders, alcoholism, and pain from years of abuse, and where I was now a leader in the church and going hard after the Lord. But deep within my heart, I still didn't understand why my abortion was so bad and was internally justifying that it was best that I had done it. Besides, if I hadn't, I probably would be dead from my abusive relationship. I wouldn't know Jesus and be with Him forever. So it was a good thing right? I also had such a fear of telling anyone because of how the church can sometimes look at people who've done stuff like that. I really thought I'd be shunned and kicked out forever. I understood that God hated abortion, but I needed help to agree with His view of it.

One night, as I was praying in our 24-hour prayer room, at about 3am, I was reading through Mike Bickle's FELLOWSHIP prayer list. I was praying the "L" for love, and Psalm 139 was at the bottom of the page. I read these prayers everyday and am very familiar with Psalm 139 and so I always skip over it, but this time, the Lord told me to go back. I said, "what?" He said, "Go back and read that." And so I did. I read the words that changed my life forever.

"I formed you IN YOUR MOTHER'S WOMB"

And all of a sudden I was taken into a trance, a vision type thing where I was still in the room, but in front of me in my vision was a little girl all dressed in pink. She looked at me and she said, "Mom, did I matter? Mom, was I legitimate?" I began to weep and I heard the voice of God saying to me, "Melissa, I created her from a dream in my heart. She had a song to sing to the world and she didn't get to. But you're going to sing her song. You are going to sing the Song of the Unborn." And I continued to weep for what seemed like hours as the Lord kept downloading the dreams of his heart for adoption centers and for me adopting a girl someday that will look just like my daughter from a mother who I will lead to Jesus on her way to get an abortion, etc. And Jesus named her, He named her Shiloh, which I found out later is a name that sometimes was given to refer to God Himself.

Beloved, every baby that was aborted, not only were they created with a song to sing, but even now, they have a name, they are a person. If ONLY we would know this truth. If only I had known this truth on that day, my Shiloh would still be here with me, singing her own song. She'd be 5. She'd be going to dance class, twirling around, singing songs to Jesus. But she didn't get to. But friends, we can be a voice. We can be a witness to the truth of this matter.

But another important fact we must remember, from the very lips of Jesus in Matthew 9:13,

"But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” 

Jesus came for me, an adulterous, sinful murderer. He CAME for me, but not only that He FAUGHT for me, I wasn't looking for Him when He came and saved me. He moved people to pray for me because He wanted ME, a dirty sinner. So we can never judge people by what they have done because guess what, Jesus died for that. He spilt His blood for that. Because I have received Him as my Lord and Savior He stands in the courtroom of Heaven and says, "NO, she is NOT guilty. She is innocent because she is MINE." And He looks at me and says, "Beloved, where are you accusers now?" If God is for me NO ONE can be against me, and therefore, we shouldn't be against those people either. Jesus DIED for them and we are never to judge that person because of what they have done. His blood is enough.

I like to picture it this way. A man has a wife whom he loves and adores, and she gets cancer, a cancer that is taking over her life. The husband isn't going to hate his wife because she is sick, no he hates the cancer that is making her sick!! That is how we are, we are the Bride of Christ, and sin is the cancer that kills us. God doesn't hate US, (or that person you think is super sinful and is going to hell), NO God hates the SIN that is killing them and He wants to get rid of it to bring back his poor sick bride to life.

So, let us raise up, as a voice proclaiming LIFE, not speaking death or choosing death, but proclaiming LIFE over people and over the unborn with the love, mercy, and tenderness of Jesus, and to pray that justice would go forth and set free a generation from the chains of abortion. Because the blood of millions of babies, those babies who each have a name, who each had a song to sing, they are ALL crying out for justice. And God can't contradict Himself, in His perfect love He has to bring judgement on the sin and wickedness of our nation, and we AS A NATION are judged for the "child sacrifices" we make. So pray with me:

"God, have mercy on my sins and the sins of my nation. End abortion and send revival to America."

Remember Jesus, remember that He died to save us, poor lost sheep, so entrenched in sin without Him, and remember the POWER of the cross.

Remember Shiloh...

1 comment:

  1. Hey Melissa,

    Reading the beginning of this made me sad, you deserve to be treated so much better and it seems that you have found peace and love through GOD. I'm really proud of you, you are such a strong woman and amazing.

    I wish you the best Melissa. :)

    -Troy A. Polland